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Graceling, by Kristin Cashore
Aug. 20th, 2017 02:26 pmI've been doing a lot of rereads this year, not necessarily on purpose, but because they're stories I've wanted to revisit.
One thing I've liked about Graceling both times I've read it is the acknowledgement & discussion of different types of romantic relationships and how those bind people to one another. Maybe there are less types of relationships in Graceling's world and marriage is expected (since it's a typical medieval-style fantasy setting), but that isn't altogether different from reality. Although being in a relationship and not being married are accepted, there's still a pretty strong societal feeling of marriage being the ~end goal~ of any relationship and if you don't end up getting married, you "aren't ready to commit" or whatever and there's a perception that your relationship isn't as good or deep as a married person's.
In Katsa's case, she's the niece of a king, so it's a foregone conclusion that she'll marry some lord and have a manor and children to look after, except that's very obviously not something Katsa wants, nor is it something she could even pretend to make herself do. She knows early on that she doesn't want marriage or children, the realization of which makes her feel even more like an unnatural or damaged woman (I certainly identify with Katsa's disinterest in having children). Although it's Katsa and Po's noble positions that allow them to decide for themselves that they won't have a traditional relationship, it's still heartening to read about how they discuss it and communicate their needs...although I'm sure Po's Grace helped with the communication aspect a lot.
One thing I've liked about Graceling both times I've read it is the acknowledgement & discussion of different types of romantic relationships and how those bind people to one another. Maybe there are less types of relationships in Graceling's world and marriage is expected (since it's a typical medieval-style fantasy setting), but that isn't altogether different from reality. Although being in a relationship and not being married are accepted, there's still a pretty strong societal feeling of marriage being the ~end goal~ of any relationship and if you don't end up getting married, you "aren't ready to commit" or whatever and there's a perception that your relationship isn't as good or deep as a married person's.
In Katsa's case, she's the niece of a king, so it's a foregone conclusion that she'll marry some lord and have a manor and children to look after, except that's very obviously not something Katsa wants, nor is it something she could even pretend to make herself do. She knows early on that she doesn't want marriage or children, the realization of which makes her feel even more like an unnatural or damaged woman (I certainly identify with Katsa's disinterest in having children). Although it's Katsa and Po's noble positions that allow them to decide for themselves that they won't have a traditional relationship, it's still heartening to read about how they discuss it and communicate their needs...although I'm sure Po's Grace helped with the communication aspect a lot.